What Did I Eat Last Night???

.....so last night i may have had a few drinks and i cheffed up a spicy, spicy stir fry for dinner.....(a few years ago i took onto spicy food and got to the point where i was even making my own hotsauces but that kinda got weird....i started rubbin' it in my eyes to try and build up an immunity to pepper spray just in case i ever ended up on the wrong end of the law or trapped in an elevator with a bear.....but i digress)......anyway maybe it was the spicy food or maybe it was the drinks, but last night i had what was by far one of the trippiest dreams ever (and trust me, i've had some wigged out ones before).......here is a synopsis......


So I am some type of low-level character in a midieval castle setting.....just pretty much a commoner, except for the fact that the queen has her eyes on me to get our fuck on........so from my persepctive this is great,..... but the king gets wind of the queen's plot to mount my shakespear so he dispatches his #1 one assassin (a midget ninja) to bring me to an untimely demise......in response to the king sending out his pint sized harbinger of sorrow, the queen dispatches her own personal protectorate to meet the midget ninja head on.....at this point i must mention that her personal protector is also a midget, but he is a samurai........oh yeah, and they are both gay.........and they happen to be lovers...................................(long uncomfortable pause).....so anyhow.....now the plot has shifted it's attention away from me and the queen to the mini-ninja/mini-samurai brokeback drama where both pocket warriors are bound by duty to battle, but the end result will be that one of them will end up killing their lover.......so now all of the sudden, i'm in a movie theatre eating popcorn watching all of this unfold on the big screen and the fight scene is very similar to the darryl hannah vs uma thurman scene in kill bill vol 2.....thankfully i wake up at this point.....

lessons learned.....less spicy food before bedtime.....perhaps less drinky drink.....midgets kick ass......and sometimes love ass.....

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

gahahaha - just how fucked up do you get before you write these? i love it

Anonymous said...

GP!

Anonymous said...

when has a midget ever done anything wrong

Anonymous said...

you need look no further than that CSI midget ep.. nice one DYLF

Anonymous said...

i cant beleive you could articulate that much from the dream...

Anonymous said...

hee hee no kidding

Anonymous said...

GP!