The Friendship Story

Once upon a time there were 2 kids who had become best friends. They had become friends at high school when one transferred in and they had clicked the very first day. They were the exact male/female version of eachother. They were constantly laughing and inseperable...
Fast forward 10 years: This is of course me i am talking about, and my friend - let's call him M. This is the type of guy you all know who is wanted by many females, has half of them, then treats with just enough respect to not get called an asshole but still plays them harder than they ever imagine. Somehow he had it worked out so that girls didn't care if their best friend had slept with him before, and the guys thought he was a hero. We had the exact same mentality on life. The teacher's at school even had a running joke that we argued so much together in our classes that we would get married. Of course, this amused us as we never looked at what we had as anything but friendship. Girls openly hated me for the amount of time we spent together, particularly whoever was sleeping with him at the time. We came up with all sorts of silly missions and activities to entertain us, one summer we even spent 4 weeks trying to prove to anyone that would listen that Elvis was still alive.

Another summer afternoon i remember we were spending time at my house, hanging out in my bedroom and we talked ourselves into trying to entertain eachother, if you know what i mean. Although our jokes and conversations we constantly filled with sexual innuendo when it came down to actually putting our words into action it soon ended in much too much laughter to end up doing anything too serious. From then on in, this afternoon provided us with yet another private joke that we would talk about in front of many other friends and no one else would understand.


After high school we both took different career paths, but we still managed to hang onto our friendship fairly tightly. I was the one he called when he had woken up at a random girls' house and needed a ride home, he was the one i called when my car got a flat in the rain and he ruined his brand new dress pants fixing it as i'd called him away from a wedding. There were periods over the years that we spent less time together, mostly because of his girlfriend's feeling threatened by our closeness and constant joking. We both moved out of town at stages, but always came back to eachother in the end.

Until this time last year, when he moved away for good.
Somehow despite never having a problem finding a one night stand, or for lack of a better term 'f*ck buddy' he had randomly met a woman online whom he had decided he couldn't live without. He picked me up from work one night, drove us to the most trendy part of the city, sat down in a restaurant and burst into tears asking for my help to get to see her. Money has never been a problem with him - if we kept tabs i would probably owe him thousands. His problem was he had a business to run here, and also a very strict family who would not like this at all. I covered to both his business partner and his family for him saying we were taking a trip together for a week and off he went to meet his love. Here's a twist - she lives in Grande Cache, Alberta.
He came back after that week, but he was never the same. His heart was there with her, that much was clear. He asked me for help picking an engagement ring and in filling out paperwork for a working visa - his intention was clear, he was off to live in Alberta. This was 12 months ago now, and although we kept in touch by phone calls most days in the beginning, they dropped off to weekly and then only every now and again. He promised me he would be at my wedding, he promised he would be the one to drive me to the Church. Two weeks before the date he told me he would not make it back, and that was the last i heard from him. I know he came home for a weekend in September, because he texted me to meet for dinner, but I was out of town, and he never bothered to write again.
Is it unfair of me to blame the 'other woman'? She knew all about the closeness of our friendship, because he would call her while we were together before he left, he would tell her openly that i was his best friend, and someone he could trust. I think she too became one of those people who couldn't handle our friendship and encouraged it to burn out. Last week my mother had to be the one to pass on the news that his fiancee and him are expecting a baby. It broke my heart all over again, and i haven't been able to let it go this time... how do you mend a friendship from the other side of the world???

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

show him this article?

Anonymous said...

good article Ozi - It must have felt good to write.

Ozi-Style said...

Unfortunately in the past i've had the experience that he does not necessarily get to see the emails i send, but i think it's worth trying again...

Anonymous said...

I don't think you can blame her. In the end she can influence him but the final decision is his. Maybe he'll wake up one day and realize. If not, it's his loss.

Anonymous said...

amen BAD - GP ozi!

Anonymous said...

GP!!!

Anonymous said...

agreed - his loss. you did all you could. it sucks, but thems the breaks

Anonymous said...

gp gp gp

Anonymous said...

bitches wreck everything
gp

Anonymous said...

get another females perspective - jaderberri?

Ozi-Style said...

I guess that really is the bottom line, them's the breaks and i just have to suck it up... I have tried with one more email message, a congrats on the baby news, but i will never know whether he will actually get it before someone else reads/deletes it...

Anonymous said...

his loss!!!!!!

Dylf said...

fuck people who deliberately choose to be ignorant...if his significant other put ozi-style in a "no-fly zone" type of area for him, common courtesy would dictate some type of communication to you to advise as such...and as he hasn't, pretty much he's a dick........fuck him....

Jaderberri said...

I find that we all have different walks. Unfortunately, sometimes our walks being us away from people we love and close friends. Sometimes these walks bring us closer to one another, and sometimes we meet new amazing people and start new friendships.
It can be sad and can cause us pain and anger, but I have many friends who "drifted away" (often because of another relationship)or for whatever reason, and in the end for me it has been best to just let them go. I just think that some people enter our lives for a while and then they move on, and maybe this is natural. Maybe one day his walk will bring him back to you,

Ozi-Style said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ozi-Style said...

Thanks heaps guys... you're right, i can't force him (or her) to want us to be friends, and this isn't high school anymore...