And we are back in a bar. A heifer named Betsy says that her husband is a wimp, and that he was a nervous wreck during the fire. I think she wants me to cuckold him or something. I don't know. She's being pretty subtle. I'm pretty sure she's talking about sex though. A drunk guy wants to give cheers to the rain, which apparently put out the fire. Thomas could learn something from the rain. Then the bartender says sorry he wasn't much help (don't worry about it, neither was anyone else) and that I look tired and should lay down in the farthest room at the end. I give a wink to the heifer, but she doesn't follow. Fucking tease. I go and sleep it off anyway.
Isaac shows up as soon as I leave the bar. Wasn't he supposed to be picking mushrooms? I hate this town and everyone in it. No one tells me anything, and everything they do tell me turns out to be horseshit. And they all expect me to do everything. Consarnit.
All right Isaac - what do you want? Just fucking lay it on me, man. What can I do for you? Milk your cows? Shear your sheep? Wash your car? Paint your chicken coup? Do your taxes? Set up your wireless router? Help you move a couch? Shingle your roof? Is the rubble that used to be Lighter's house burning down now?
No. Seriously. Thanks.
So... let me get this straight. Essentially, you saw my family, heard screams coming from my family, and you ran AWAY from THEM so you could get back HERE to ask if I'D seen them, after YOU had just seen them and heard them screaming. It's like no one even GOD DAMN THIS PLACE!!!
Well... back to the forest I go. At least I don't have Thomas with me this time. As I'm rushing towards it, Isaac STOPS me. He says I need to check on things AT HOME before I go rescue my family. WHAT?!?! Exactly how many mushrooms did you eat in the forest, fucker? YOU JUST FUCKING SAID THEY WE'RE... unless... he means they're already at home despite his lack of assistance...?
I go back back to my house, and pet my puppy Locke. I thank him for loaning me his stick that I could unleash on enemies and their fucking domes. I walk up and there is a sparrow at my house, that has the letter that Sloan wrote me earlier. I have to read the letter. Again. *Sigh* So in other words... yeah, they're not here.
Isaac comes to find me, and seems surprised they're not back. OF COURSE THEY'RE NOT BACK YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!! YOU SAW THEM AND HEARD THEM SCREAM AND RAN BACK HERE FOR SOME FUCKING REASON TO SEE IF I'D SEEN THEM WHEN YOU HAD SEEN THEM AND I COULDN'T POSSIBLY HAVE FUCKING SEEN THEM!!!
But hey, thanks for insiting I come home to read this letter from the family I may never see again because I was reading their letter instead of rescuing them so I could see them again.
He then says - get this - that they could CATCH A COLD out there. Yeah, you're right. If they survived the aliens, the forest fire, the killer bugs, the flying mice, the torrential downpour, the general idiocy of this village's population, and the million other things that can fucking happen to a mother and her 2 young children alone in a forest at night... then they MIGHT catch a cold. Much like pouring acid on your skin may cause an unpleasant odor.
Fuel continues his quest to be the only non-retarded and semi-helpful person in town by telling me he'll come to help me, and Issac's mushroom-raped mind decides that we should get the rest of the villagers to help too. Yeah, good luck with that one. Their help will consist of them pointing towards the forest.
I go outside, and look who says he'll help me.
After Locke joins me, the music in the game gets... kind of uplifting. Actually very uplifting. Wow! I totally feel like dancing and helping my community start a youth center or something.
Christ this fucking song is awesome! I can't control myself right now. Fuck this game. This song is my life now.
Look at this team. Man and dog. Awesome. Fuck the rest of you twats. I don't even want your help. Me and Locke will take care of this shit. I hope the village catches on fire when I'm gone. Good luck getting Thomas to put it out. Then Issac can get all fucked up on mushrooms and run away from the flaming village to ask me if I've seen the flaming village.
Speaking of Thomas, he's running around the village, panicked.
Mental note: avoid prayer sanctuary.
I wander a few more feet, and I see this.
I get to the prayer sanctuary, and some jerk named Jonas tells me that he is having everyone search the forest for my family. Funny, that other guy told me they we're here at the sanctuary. I won't see a single one of them, will I? Tomorrow everyone will be telling me how wierd it was that they didn't run into me because they we're TOTALLY searching the forest for my family too. All night long. Really.
And we are fighting again. A bat is my first victim. Locke bit the bat, the bat bit Locke, so I hit him so hard with Locke's stick that his head nearly came off his goddamn shoulders. Fighting more bats... hm, no one else is out here. What a shock. I find Isaac's house - surely he won't be in here because he's out looking for Sloan, right?
Motherfucker.
B.@.D