Thomas' Firefighting Manual:
1.) Wait for rain.
2.) Collect paycheck.
A sparrow tells me that if I always run away from fights, that fights will be harder down the road because I'll lack experience (and therefore won't become stronger.) So far kids and animals are way more helpful than adults in this game.
I walk down to the sanctuary and there's Thomas, who also seems awfully surprised that I'm pitch black and covered in soot. Thanks, eagle-eye, one would think that you'd be familiar with the aftermath of being in a fire, since, y'know, you're a goddamn FIREFIGHTER. You know the forest is stll ACTUALLY fucking ablaze, right Thomas The Firefighter?. He says Lighter is in the sanctuary. Which he totally isn't, he's lying on a board beside the sanctuary. I hate Thomas so much.
Jesus, look at the guy to the right of Lighter, his nose is the size of Fuel. Thomas says he hopes that the rain will do his job and put out the fire. Because just like that Destiny's Child singer that doesn't sing, he's a firefighter who doesn't fight fires. He does assfuck, though. He does assfuck. They say we're going to head back to the village.
Wasn't this supposed to be "Night Of The Funeral"? I thought for sure that Lighter was going to be the one who died after the fire / rape combo. By his own hand.
There is really sad music playing, and we are in a house. Lighter is in bed and everyone is around him. Thomas is here too, which just seems cruel. Lighter asks me if I saw anyone with pig-like masks on while I was in the forest. Unless he's talking about what I thought we're aliens, then no. He calls them bastards and said that they turned me pitch black, which apparently is one of the worst things that can happen to a human being, the way these people talk.
Then Thomas, the Chief Wiggum of firefighting, asks a question I've been wondering about...
He then asks 'won't the forest be dangerous to come back in, the way it is now.' Wow. Another one of these losers says that Issac (the guy who one of the houses up there belonged to) went to the mountains to pick mushrooms, and they hope he's OK. Maybe I should go rescue HIM before my own family TOO. Why don't you just go ahead and SAY that, you ASSHOLE, because we ALL KNOW that's what you're getting at. GOD.
I leave the room, and realize I'm in a bar. We brought him to the back room of a bar. Because after we we're done FIXING him up, we wanted to be somewhere we could get FUCKED up. That joke didn't work at all, did it? I gave it a shot and it just went right down the shitter.
B.@.DThomas' Firefighting Manual