The Balls On You

So a few weeks ago, I saw my first pair of these little beauties:

I just about ran my god damn car off the road.
Upon arriving at a functioning Google machine, I went to Ask.com and typed in the following:
"I just saw balls hanging from the back of a truck. What the fuck is this bullshit supposed to be?"

I had to refine my terms a bit, of course. And filter through the portion of results that turned out to just be porn (about 98%). Eventually, I came up with the following.
Source: Wikipedia.org
Truck Nuts, also known as truck balls, BumperNuts, BumperBalls, or truck scrotums, are accessories for pickup trucks and other vehicles. Capitalizing upon the association of trucks with machismo, truck nuts resemble human testicles inside scrota of various colors. This trend began in the United States in 1998 and first sold on the internet in 1999. Truck nuts are used as a statement by the car, truck, ATV, and/or motorcycle owner to boast/amuse/shock him/her self and others. Truck nuts are installed at the rear of the vehicle in such a way that they are suspended in full view of motorists and others behind them.


Are they fucking serious? ARE THEY FUCKING SERIOUS.

You actually feel the need to put balls on your truck. Having a big engine isn't enough anymore. You have to SHOW people that aren't lucky enough to see your awesome engine that the truck has balls... BY PUTTING ACTUAL BALLS... on the back of the truck for everyone to see.

Holy shit man. Just HOLY SHIT. The mind reels. Are you fucking kidding me? If there's any road accessory that screams "I'm a classless piece of shit" louder than this one, then someone has to show it to me.


Even better - go to Google Images and put truck nuts in it. You'll see a TON of pictures that people have taken POSING WITH THEIR TRUCK NUTS. Like it's a god-damn trophy! Like this dude:

Here's a little something for the ladies.

And I wanna see the person that THIS kind of marketing actually works on:

"Excuse me ladies, I know you love my truck balls, but I'm trying to back up here."

 I'll be in my trailer. You'll be able to tell which one it is because I'm going to put a giant cock on the top of it. Sort of like this:

So yeah. I will be in my giant cock trailer.

B.@.D