The Country's Best Yogurt

Anonymous said...
oh my. our b.a.d must been in a bad mood when they wrote this.

And, if possible, the comment board just came to an even louder screeching halt.

What the gay was the point of this, anyway?


So time is starting to heal the crippling emotional wound of losing Dylf at work. I must say that lashing out at him in "The Fall Of The Comment Board" certainly helped. Because there's still a bit of blood loss and infection, today I am going to provide a list of the things I found whilst cleaning out his desk (that I wasted no time moving into). For the record, I am not passing judgement on the things that I found, I am simply providing a list. And believe it or not, the numbers are not exaggerated.

- THIRTY-TWO highlighters (all found in different places throughout the desk.)
- FIFTY-EIGHT crappy pens (all found in different places throughout the desk, 80% of them defunct.)
- ONE NICE pen (which I thought was pretty sweet, then I realized IT was defunct too.)

- a "Credit Certification" Degree (this I was happy to find, as I sharpied out his name and wrote mine.)
- a notebook where he took notes throughout various meetings, which is filled with useful tidbits like ('TCB = Taking Care Of Business' and 'TCBY = The Country's Best Yogurt'.)
- a SHARPENED razor blade

- a travel jar of marmalade (no knife, nothing to spread it on - just marmalade.)
- TOILET PAPER (not QUITE a full roll, but close.)
- hand sanitizer (toilet paper + hand sanitizer + marmalade = ???)

- NO giant elastic ball, which I SPECIFICALLY asked for. (Seriously, this thing is the size of the Rock Of Gibraltar. I don't even know how he would have gotten it out the door.)
- ZERO pictures of his wife (which I also SPECIFICALLY asked for, but I've printed some pictures off of Facebook and framed them so this is really less of a problem than one might think.)

Anyway, there you go. Had I known what I was walking into beforehand, I would have gotten a toxic radiation suit and all my vaccination boosters beforehand.


Before I go - I've seen writers on other sites (shit, I’ve seen writers MY OLD site do it) posting up their Amazon wishlists. Hell, most of the time they get what they ask for.

So, before any of my own writers beat me to the punch, here’s my Amazon wishlist:

Dear Amazon. I want a house.

Snap to it.


Yeah, fuck Dylf. I hope his liver fails soon.

B.@.D