I Got Hit On By A Homosexual.....Again....

.....i've always considered myself to be a bit of a ladies man....but when i say ladies man i actually do mean ladies, not the 19 year old tarts B.@.D. has been known to date...(ba dum dum, rim shot).....anyways, back in the day when i was trying everything i could to convince your girlfirend i was everything she wanted you to be i frequented a local karaoke pub to do my hunting....why? you may ask....a couple reasons.....1) i'm a fucking great singer.....(well, i put on a show but my vocal prowess is actually average at best....average for someone in the process of receiving a tonsilectomy).....2) chicks at karaoke bars are typically drunk as fuck.....3) girls at karaoke bars who aren't drunk typically think they are better than all of the guys there and hence, they think all of the guys there are dispoable throw-aways who you will never have to call back after you give them some sugar after they buy you drink....anyhoo...so from time to time i still roll out to the "stompin' grounds" with my best friend suzi for drinks and giggles and shit.....this last weekend we headed down and there was a big group of people there that we knew so we side-eld up to a table with a good view of the stage to watch debauchery commence....there were a few people at the table with us who i didn't know a few of the girls that suzi and i do know are up on the stage singing their hearts out.....they look over and i shoot them a wink and a wave and they smile and wave back and everyone is having a good time....i ham it up making eyes at the girls as they finish their song and they have a good laugh, blah blah blah, etc....etc....after their song is over i notice that the small filipino gentleman who is sitting at the head of the table with his back to the stage gets up and comes over, i figure he's going to talk about the girls who just sang or something......dude introduces himself and says he was noticing me notice him and he wants to buy me a drink......long uncomfortable pause....for the first time in forever i was speechless....at first i wasn't putting together what would have prompted this pint sized pillar pounder to come over and overtly it on me but then i realize he saw me "flirting" with the girls and figured it was directed at him and that i wanted to make him ride the baloney pony.....anyway, i apologized to him and explained the misunderstanding...he seemed a little put off by the whole thing when i still accepted the drink and i don't know why.....

i was kind of hoping to get some insights from B.@.D. on what he does when this kinda thing happens to him???...other than open wide that is.......


25 comments:

Anonymous said...

hahahaha GP dylf

Anonymous said...

baloney pony?!??!

Anonymous said...

Baloney pony? That is the hottest thing you've written to date.

*MASTURBATES FURIOUSLY*

Anonymous said...

who is biting his ear?!?!?!

Anonymous said...

LOL - did you let him buy you the drinks at least?

Anonymous said...

gp dylf!

Anonymous said...

i do imagine BAD gets hit on by a lot of dudes

Anonymous said...

GP Dylf - awwww poor bad

Anonymous said...

gp!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

fyi your site feed is fucked up again

GP DYLF

Jaderberri said...

I kinda like being hit on by the same sex... it's flattering. Except when its a good friend asking you out when they know you aren't really gay and have a boyfriend... then that's awkward. Or when a girl tells you you're hot and wants to lick your head, and then you find out after the lick that your current boyfriend left her for you... that's awkward too. Or when 3 lesbians corner you in the bathroom and agressively tell you you're really hot and there is nowhere to get away... thats kinda scary. Or when a girl hits on you and tells you they want you to go home with them, but then you find out they really want you to come over and have a threesome with their ugly boyfriend... that's gross.
But besides all that I kind of like it!

Anonymous said...

Jade - that leaves like - NOTHING OUT

Anonymous said...

im also masturbating furiously, a la BAD

Anonymous said...

lol nice jade
GP Dylf

Ozi-Style said...

Haha - agree with you Jade, it is kind of flattering... for me it seems to always happen in the bathroom, girls seem to be automatic best friends while they are in a bathroom together, and every so often a girl will want to touch my chest... doesn't help when your friends are there encouraging them either...

Anonymous said...

this is the hottest topic ever. bravo dylf

Dylf said...

fyi....the guy all over b.@.d. may or may not be romantically involved with another writer.......probably the prince....

Anonymous said...

i lost it at the whacking day pic

Anonymous said...

Is it Mizzle's boytoy? I always pictured Mizzle with a rough looking bf.

Anonymous said...

i love M3 - I think the best part is that it will go on forever because you're only in chapter 1 of the game 10 recaps later

Anonymous said...

Tell me about it.

Anonymous said...

Hahahaha loved the M3 as always bad. Traffic is up since those started!

Jaderberry - is there a 900 number you could call to hear about some of this?

Anonymous said...

I fucking LOVE baked yams too BAD.

Anonymous said...

GP Dylf and GP X 2 BAD!!!

Anonymous said...

gp dylf