Free Range!!!


So awhile ago I spent the weekend in Kamloops with my in laws and needless to say there were copious amounts of spirits imbibed by all with my kids being the sole exception.....my 2 year old daughter had to drive and her 6 month old brother was working the nav........anyway, the first night I found myself deeply ensconced in conversation with my sister in law Jaiden over some occurences in Vancouver back in 2008.....specifically Peta protestors throwing paint on people wearing fur jackets.....now before anyone starts thinking that I am a supporter in anyway of the fur industry let me state upfront that i get it, i understand the whole fur is a crime thing......got it, moving on......my sole issue is when one private citizen imposes their belief system to damage the private property and physically endanger another private citizen, no matter how fucked up that private property is (fur, etc....) ......i would seriously take exception if someone threw paint on my baby for wearing fur, not that my baby would wear fur but she might wear very convincing faux-fur......oh fuck it.......this is all getting too circular and hypothetical....anyway, this conversation with my sister brought on an epiphany......Free Range Fur Baby!!!

On the Free Range Fur Farm all of our minks and chinchillas will live a full, fulfilling life where they roam our 20 acres of lush forest free to mate, feed, kill and repeat.....when the elderly rodentia are ready to move on we will provide a peaceful garden atrium where they can be surrounded by their closest family members until they pass on at which time, with the utmost respect we will skin them and produce fine outerwear garments out of them......i would anticipate though, that even this would be looked on with shock and horror by the anti-fur hoardes.....especially the on-site restaurant........which is fine, but in consideration for those extreme extremists, i have had another epiphany.......in the spirit of the famous Richard Connell short story, i propose starting a tour guide operation a la "The Most Dangerous Game" where I take a busload of extreme animal rights activists.......to the Arctic Circle, where they get to stalk Inuit hunters and throw paint on their Seal Skin/Fur garments in the ultimate act of self righteous indignation.........wonder how well they could dodge whale harpoons and blubber axes???

.....now our conversation went on to discuss the dawn of time when human life was that of Cro-Magnon or Neanderthal man.  For all intensive purposes, man was at the bottom of the food chain in those times with the majority of life on the planet being equipped with resources (fangs, claws, teeth, size) which were far more efficient for killing than anything that our distant monkey man relatives had with one exception.....our big beautiful brains....so i guess if i follow the logic of the militant Peta activists, our ancestors who were just grasping the concept of how to shit in the woods should have treated all the wild animals in prehistoric times in an ethical and responsible manner, and definitely not worn their hides or fur in an attempt to avoid the harshness of the Ice Age and rendered ourselves extinct.  I know that we have evolved since then and we know better now, and I fully believe that we do know better and should be more responsible in our treatment of all the earth's inhabitants animal, herb (ahem) and otherwise.....but throwing paint on personal property???  Really?  One day someone is going to throw paint on the wrong individual's personal property and end up having their fellow protesters picking fragments of their skull and brain off of the sidewalk.....
maybe i'll just play it safe and wear my human hair garments from now on....no one has thrown paint on them yet........

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

do you have any hair to spare?!?

Anonymous said...

perhaps down in the crotchal region.....

GP Dylf. i bet they actually make stuff out of human hair somewhere (besides wigs). try asia!

Anonymous said...

gp DYLF!!!

Anonymous said...

always a pleasure... YOUR pleasure.....

Anonymous said...

GP Dylf - lol

Anonymous said...

i love my weekly Dylf dose......

Anonymous said...

GP Dylf!

Anonymous said...

crotch hair maybe?

Dylf said...

......no hair down there.....

Anonymous said...

are you free range now that your fully nSA?!?

Anonymous said...

LOL
"flag as inappropriate"

Anonymous said...

i would flag this too :D

Anonymous said...

I would flag it as SEX... GP Dylfie

Anonymous said...

gp DYLF